Got a stash of groan-worthy puns or side-splitting one-liners? Time to put them to the test! Share your Best Dad Jokes for a shot at fantastic prizes and bragging rights as “Dad Joke Champion.”
Dig out your joke book and make our eyes roll. The Best Dad Joke will win a Grand Prize Package including:
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Six (6) Free Haircuts Courtesy of Men’s Hair House Brookfield, Greenfield & Wauwatosa |
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Motor Mania- 4 Pack to any race at the Washington County Fair. |
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Lynyrd Skynyrd with a Special Guest on Saturday, August 9 at the Bank Five Nine Main Stage at The Wisconsin State Fair |
Check out some of the zingers…
What do you call a sheep that can sing and dance? Lady Baa Baa. Ann Marie C.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent. Gabrielle K. & Joanne R.
What kind of clothes do attorneys wear? Lawsuits. Dan D.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing. Paul N.
Why can’t Superman leave the city? Suburbanite! Mark S.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing. Jennifer W.
What state is know for its small drinks? Minnesota!! Jan D.
I heard that construction jobs have its ups and downs. For example, enlarging a drill hole is boring while fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting. Gabrielle K.
There was this joke about a boomerang that I forgot, but it came back to me. Gabrielle K.
What is it called when a chicken looks at lettuce? Chicken sees a salad. Gabrielle K.
What do you call someone who speaks horse? A neighsayer. Gabrielle K.
How do two fishermen talk to each other? They drop a line. Gabrielle K.
Why did the Star Wars movies go 456, 123? In charge of scheduling, Yoda was.
A colander walks into a bar and tries to start a conversation with someone, but they tell it, “Sorry, I don’t talk to strainers.” Gabrielle K.
Somebody threw a jar of mayonnaise at me. I was like: What the Hellman! Tenine F.
Why did the cow cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off. Tifanie B.
What do you call an army of babies? Infantry. Donald R. & David G.
Why do nurses have red crayons? In case they need to draw blood. Michael W.
If you buy a bigger bed, you get more bed room, but you also less bedroom. Dave B.
My Father always used to say that Money doesn’t grow on trees! So one day I said If Money doesn’t grow on trees why do Banks have so may branches. Roberst M.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired. Steven C.
Where do sheep go to get a drink? The baa. Dan D.
Old man falls into a hole, he couldn’t see that WELL. Timothy L.
How much does a chimney cost? Nothing. It’s on the house. Timothy L.
My dad told me when I grew up never to have kids and to raise my kids to do the same thing. Paul A.
What kind of cookouts do ghosts have? BAR- BOO – QUES. Dave B.
Why didn’t Han Solo like his steak dinner? It was Chewy! Don G.
What do you call a cow with no legs lying in a field? Ground beef. Dave B.
Why did the stadium get hot? All the fans left! Jane B.
Officials are out searching for an escaped leopard; so far, he has not been spotted. Timothy L.
What did the cop say to his belly button Your under a vest.
The inventor of Tupperware passed away. He was buried in a huge Tupperware container. At the end of the service, the Funeral Home seemed to take forever. Apparently, they had a hard time finding the right lid. Cliff B.
What did the potato say to the potato chip? You’re a chip off the old spud!! Dave B.
While most puns make me feel numb, Math puns make me feel number. Alan W.
I’ve always wondered if songbirds get mad at the hummingbirds for not knowing the words hhmm? Karen W.
Why did AC/DC break up with their GPS?” Because it kept saying, Turn back in black. Jacob H.
What happens if you get hurt playing Peek-a-boo? You have to go to the ICU! Darren M.
A man bought a dozen bees. The beekeeper gave him 13. The man asked why there was an extra bee? The beekeeper said it’s a Free bee. Gail C.
Why is marriage like a 3 ring circus? The engagement ring, the wedding ring, then the suffer ring. Frank B.
Just when you thought food couldn’t talk, then boom, onion rings! Brett B.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack! Dan D.
My wife came into the bathroom as I was weighing myself with my gut tucked in. She laughed and said, “That’s not going to help.” I said it is so, I can see how much I weigh. David B.
What do you call A belt made of watches? A waist of time!! Robert B.
What’s blue and not very heavy? Light blue James S.
Am I too tall for my height? Eileen R.
What do you do when you get swallowed up by an elephant? Run around till you get pooped out. Kari D.
April showers bring May flowers, but do you know what May flowers bring? Pilgrims Dave B.
I know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y!!!! Joseph S.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they waved. Therese D.
Someone once told me, “Go West, young man. Go West.” I said, “I heard you the first time!” Michael P.
The shovel really was a groundbreaking invention. John K.
My dog has no nose. How does he smell? Awful. Robert P.
Why do bears have hair? Fur-protection. Chuck C.
A pregnant goat went up to her husband and said, “I’m going into labor!” He said, “You’re kidding!” Michael P.
What do you call it when a caveman passes gas? A blast from the past. Kelly G.
Which Jedi went on to become a rock star? Bon Jovi-Wan Kenobi. Marcus Allen
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad of an electrician I am. Keith S.
Why did the woman get fired from the calendar factory? She took a day off. Keith S.
Where would you find a turtle with no legs? Same place you left him. James L.
Did you know you can’t laugh out in Hawaii? It has to be A lo Ha, Julie F.
As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field. But hay, it’s in my Jeans. Paul W.
What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear? White Vans. Peter K.
How did the Hamburger introduce his new girlfriend? Meet Patty. Karen W.
My father’s car broke down in Texas. Douglas W.
I told my wife that I was cold, could she please put a blanket over me? Just then, my granddaughter stood up, walked to me, put her hand out to shake my hand, and said, “Hi, I’m cold. My name is Flora, glad to meet you.” John W.
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work. Scott S.
What do you call a cracked window? Give up? A pain in the glass. Nicholas K.
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? The judge gave them each six months! Brett B.
What word starts with F and ends in pick? Fire truck. Sandy E.
What does a lawyer wear to court? A lawsuit. Brad B.
England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool Paul W.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims. Michael W.
How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side. Marcus Allen
Who is corn’s best friend? A corndog. Threse D.
What did the father buffalo say when he dropped off his little boy at school? “Bison” Dan W.
What do you call a fear of giants? “Fe fi fo-bia” Jana B.
Two windmills were sitting on a hill. One asked the other, Do you have a favorite song? The other replies, well, all my life, I have been a heavy metal fan. Dean J.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball? “Catch ya later!” Daryl L.
What’s a baseball player’s least favorite Star Wars movie? The Umpire Strikes Back. Daryl L.
Which baseball player holds water? The pitcher. Daryl L.
Why is the baseball stadium the coolest place to be? It’s full of fans. Daryl L.
How do baseball players keep in touch? They touch base every once in a while. Daryl L.
What has 18 legs and catches flies? A baseball team! Daryl L.
Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team? She ran away from the ball. Daryl L.
What do baseball players use to bake a cake? Oven MITTS, BUNT pans and BATTER. Daryl L.
I am concerned about the future of the calendar; its days are numbered. Todd M.
Why did Luke cross the road? Because his father was on the other side. Phil H.
Just got myself a pet termite, I named Clint. Clint eats wood. Steven W.
What did Simba’s Grandfather say to Simba’s Dad when he was little and hunting? Mufasta. Bill H.
I thought my wife was joking when she told me to stop singing “I’m a Believer” by the Monkees…but then I saw her face. Caroline A.
Why do chicken coops only have two doors? If they had four doors, they would be chicken sedans. Dean J.
What does a baby computer call its father? Data! Sarah M.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crumby. Dina S.
What do clouds wear under their shorts? Thunder pants! Chad S.
A guy stranded on an island for years sees a beautiful girl in a tight bodysuit come up on shore. He greats her,, she said you look sad,, Could you go for a swallow of good brandy? he replied YES.. out of that tight suit she pulls out a flask and he enjoyed it, She than said,, Bet you could go for a cigar, He says YES and out of that tight suit she pulls out a cigar, He is so HAPPY, Than she ask, Would you like to play around, HE SAYS, You got golf clubs in that suit? Darrel H.
The boy asks his Dad if he could explain a solar eclipse! Dad said… No sun. Jennifer G.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up. Brittney P.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it. Tom S.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home. Emily E.
I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted. Joey M.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s popcorn? Sam M.
Where do Star Wars rebel officers eat? The Admiral Snackbar. IT’S A TRAP! Marcus Allen
How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon. Ashley M.
What country’s capital is growing the fastest? In Ireland, every day it’s Dublin. Chelsea K. & Kayla H.
How did I know my daughter thought I was invading her space? I read it in her diary. Anthony K.
Dad, whenever he puts the car in reverse, says: Ahh, that takes me back. Glen K.
I was up all night wondering where the sun went, then it dawned on me. Stan A.
If a child refuses to take a nap, are they guilty of resisting rest? Kathy K.
Best Dad Jokes Contest Rules
Enter your Best Dad Joke at wklh.com between 12:01 am Monday, 5/26/25, and 11:59 pm Sunday, 6/15/25. No purchase is necessary. One entry per person. Multiple entries by an individual will disqualify all entries by that individual. The prizes are a $150 Men’s Hair House gift card, Motor Mania 4-Pack and a pair of tickets to see Lynyrd Skynyrd, August 9 @ State Fair valued at $160. The grand prize package has a $410, total retail value. WKLH reserves the right to add additional prize(s) to this package. The winner will be randomly selected from all submissions by 96.5 THE KLH staff from all eligible entries on, or around Monday, 6/16/25. Entrants and winners will be chosen at the sole discretion of WKLH. The winner will be contacted by email. WKLH contests are open to all eligible Wisconsin residents 21 or older who have not won anything on WKLH in the past 30 days or any prize valued at $600 or more in the past 6 months. Only one winner per household is permitted within 30 days after a household has a winner. Any prize awarded to an ineligible listener will be deemed null and void, and an alternate eligible winner may be named. The grand prize is non-transferable or redeemable for cash. All winners of all contests are responsible for all federal, state, and/or local taxes on the prize awarded.
Employees of WKLH, Lakefront Communications LLC, and its ultimate parent company, Saga Communications, Inc., their advertising agencies, affiliates, contest sponsors, employees and immediate families of each, and employees of all media of mass communication within a one hundred mile radius of WKLH’s main studio are not eligible to win any contest.
Immediate family includes the spouse, great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, brothers, sisters, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren of the employee and his/her spouse. This also includes individuals for whom the employee is the current legal guardian.
General: All decisions of WKLH are final and shall be binding in all respects. Entry into this contest constitutes permission to use the name or likeness of each prize winner for advertising, trade, and publicity purposes without prior approval and without prior approval and without additional compensation—additionally, listeners who opt-in acknowledge and give WKLH permission to share their information with sponsors.
This contest is void where prohibited by law. All local, state, and federal regulations apply. All giveaways and contests are void where prohibited by law. As a licensee of the FCC and a trustee of the public airwaves, WKLH reserves the right to interrupt and/or discontinue this contest (and not award the offered prizes) at the discretion of WKLH management if world
events, the national mood, or public safety so warrant. WKLH reserves the right to disqualify any winner if the contest rules have been violated in any way. WKLH reserves the right to amend these rules to any contest at any time.
WKLH General Contest Rules
These are the rules governing all contests aired on 96.5 WKLH radio and on the wklh.com website or 96.5 WKLH mobile app, unless otherwise specified. In the following rules, “96.5 WKLH” means Lakefront Communications, LLC, dba Milwaukee Radio Group and its parent corporation, Saga Communications, Inc., which owns 96.5 WKLH radio:
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- As a licensee of the FCC and a trustee of the public airwaves, 96.5 WKLH reserves the right to interrupt and/or discontinue any contest or promotion (and not award the offered prize) at the discretion of 96.5 WKLH management if world events, the national mood, or public safety so warrant.
- 96.5 WKLH reserves the right to amend the rules to any contest at any time. 96.5 WKLH's decision is always final. In the event any one of the general contest rules which govern all 96.5 WKLH contests contradict with any specific contest term, the specific contest term will control.
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- internet crashes or slowdowns caused by network congestion
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- lost, late, misdirected, postage-due, unintelligible, returned, or undelivered entries or email
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Persons who tamper with or abuse any aspect of this contest or website, or act in violation of the official service, as solely determined by the station, will be disqualified. Neither sponsor nor promotion parties are responsible for any incorrect or inaccurate information whether caused by website users, tampering, hacking, or by any of the programming or equipment associated with or used in this contest, and assume no responsibility for any errors, omissions, deletions, interruptions or delays in operation or transmission or communication line failure, theft or destruction or unauthorized website access.
96.5 WKLH is not responsible for injury or damage to participant’s or any other person’s computer or property related to or resulting from participating in this contest. Should any portion of contest be, in 96.5 WKLH’s sole opinion, compromised by virus, worms, bugs, unauthorized human intervention (i.e., hackers) or other causes which, in the sole opinion of the station, corrupt or impair administration, security, fairness or proper play of this contest, or contest plays, 96.5 WKLH reserves the right at its sole discretion to suspend, modify or terminate the contest.
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- All appropriate information in required fields must be entered correctly and completely or you will be disqualified.
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- Any problems with the internet or email are not 96.5 WKLH’s responsibility.
- Contestants who register to participate on our website may be required to produce a printed copy of proof of registration before being allowed to participate in the contest.
- Due to the nature of our programs that are heard on-line over the internet, contests may not be heard at all on 96.5 WKLH. Contests heard on the radio station’s internet audio stream may be slightly delayed from the time the contests are heard on the broadcast station, and will be running behind the broadcast signal. Thus, all contests heard on the internet are delayed. This delay can last for as much as 30 seconds or more. This means that when 96.5 WKLH contests are played that require a specific caller to telephone the radio station (such as “Caller number 9 when you hear the sound effect”), listeners to the on-line audio stream may be at a disadvantage in participating over those listeners who hear the contests on-air.
- A copy of these rules is available during business hours at the 96.5 WKLH studios 5407 West McKinley Avenue, Milwaukee, Wisconsin 53208