Roz Britton "The Queen of Funk"
(and World's Best Receptionist)
Roz’s Queenly Guide To Being “Diva-Licious”
1. Always keep “spare hair” in the trunk of your car because you never know when may have a “mis-hairp” especially if you’re recovering from a long weekend and you’re going into “Hot Mess Monday”.
2. Your “big purse” is always a “must-have” in a queenly diva’s wardrobe and should include some of the following:
a. Aluminum Foil - for those times when other people’s food taste so “gosh darn” better than yours. Aw heck who am I kidding I just don’t wanna cook!
b.Vaseline - for when your lips are a little dry or you skin may be a little “ashy” (yes I said ashy) or you may want to “hit up” that so-called “baby hair” around the edges of your hairline but Vaseline can especially come in handy if you end up having to “lube up” to “throw down” with someone in the line at “The Dollar Tree”. In fact the next time you’re at “The Dollar Tree” pick up some Vaseline.
c. A Japanese Fan - I know huh? But honeeey trust me those “personal summers” ain’t no joke! Plus it makes a distinct and unforgettable sound when you pop those little “bad-tail kids” in church.
3. Always try and keep yourself looking fierce! The exception to this rule would be if your girlfriend “Januvia’s” brother (you know the one whose teeth look like they’ve been in a “prison riot”) comes to you and wants to “sop you up with a biscuit”, then you can pull a “Sybill” on him and fall down on the ground and starting - of course with my luck there’d be a “pile” where I was going to eat.
Get more of that during "Friday Funk" with Roz on the Morning 'KLH!
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